Wayne Alfred Palmer
Wayne Alfred Palmer died unexpectedly on September 25, 2020, at the UVM Medical Center. Wayne was born July 22, 1961 in Babylon New York, the son of Warren Charles Palmer and Mary (Worsdale) Palmer.
Wayne’s struggle with addiction took him to places he never wanted to go, he never gave up trying to understand his addiction, and with the help of his AA family and program friends he learned how to live a sober life. Wayne would want all his AA family and program friends to know how profoundly important they were to him and his successful recovery. He came to understand that he needed to be part of something bigger than him and that giving back and helping others was an essential peace of his recovery. Wayne genuinely appreciated the help he received from his AA family, the unconditional acceptance, the opportunity to be a part of church services, family functions, home improvement projects were gift’s that Wayne cherished. Wayne’s struggle bridged nearly four decades and took from him things that were very important to him, this was the biggest thing he continued to struggle with, not because he didn’t understand that his situation was a direct result of his actions, but because he knew he had not only harmed himself but also other people that he loved dearly. Wayne would want the members of his AA Family to continue to enjoy a sober life, and to continue to support one another. If you are new to the program, Wayne would tell you, it is never too late, change starts now and last forever.
Over the last two years Wayne was able to connect with family member he had not seen for an awfully long time and some that he had never met. Wayne had a deep appreciation for family, he loved everyone very much and always wanted to be in the middle of any family activity or function. He especially liked the sometimes-heated discussions he would have with his favorite cousin Susan; they would fight hang up on one another and then remember how important they each where to one another and do it all over again. After being absent from their lives for nearly thirty years, Wayne was able to reunite with his two daughters. Wayne new that his not being there for them while they were growing up caused them great harm and that he had no rights as a father, and that he would have to accept whatever terms they dictated. They agreed to meet, and he was able to share a meal with his adult daughters, this may have been his proudest moment, he never lost that memory. Wayne also enjoyed animals, dogs where his favorite. Any dog it did not matter they were all his puppies, he loved them all.
Wayne is survived by his current wife Debra (Seufert) Palmer, his first wife and mother of his two daughters Debra (O’Keefe) Palmer, brother and sister in law Warren and Courtney Palmer, Daughter’s Jacqueline (Palmer) Capocci and Shannon Palmer, son in law Mike Capocci, grandson’s Angelo and Nico Capocci, Uncle Mike Lawler, special cousins Valerie Bender, Susan Palmer Oehler, Lou Oehler, Melissa Palmer, Richard Palmer, Louanne Oehler Rose, Roy Rose, Carol Black, John Oehler Pete Black, Barbara Hill, Dottie Matern, Jean Remington, Bill Schloss, Jack Schloss, Richard Oehler, Gary Lawler, Larry Lawler and extended family of nieces and nephews.
From Wayne’s brother Warren: Our time together was short and not at all what either of us had hoped for, but that does not in any way change the importance of what we were allowed to share. I will forever be grateful for the time we had and the opportunity to get to know you, to see you change and grow in so many ways. I know your struggle was long and hard but I also know that did the best you could and worked hard at being the best you could be, and that is how you will be remembered here in my heart and home, and I hope the others you touched will do the same. Rest in peace Little A it is your time to rest.
There will be a celebration of Wayne’s life Monday, October 5, 2020 at 116 Skunk Hollow Road Jericho, Vt 05465 between 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm. If you new Wayne and would like to share or would like to say goodbye you are welcome.
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